1. End of line.

No matter how good you get at the racing games, no matter how well you do during the qualifying heats, you will always, always begin the race in the last possible position. Just once I'd like to see a racing game where I start in the middle of the pack. Cars all around me. Or in the front of the pack. Can I keep my lead without letting others pass me? But no. I'm required to pass the seven or eleven or fifteen other vehicles on the course. Every time.

2. Character profiles.

Specifically, character profiles that contain game spoilers. If you've never faced one of the arch-nemesis' major henchmen before, how would you know that she is vulnerable to electrical damage? If you're playing a game that features Batman, why showcase the five different villains he'll be facing? Batman doesn't know who he's going up against each time he dons the cowl. Why should the player? Yeah, you bought the game to see Batman battle the Joker, but wouldn't it be neat to see Mr. Freeze and Poison Ivy on a crime wave without knowing beforehand that they were in the game?

In one game, the initial goal is to rescue this one guy's teenage daughter. No problem, you think. But in the game manual has character profiles for your character, your teammates, the daughter, and the person who kidnapped the daughter. And in the daughter's blurb, her age and nationality are listed as UNKNOWN. Great. The daughter is going to turn out to be something else than a simple missing daughter. She's probably an android or, as this is a video game done by a Japanese firm, a reincarnated deity that seeks the destruction of all mankind you have to kill with an Uzi.

Besides, if there's a character profile in the game manual, they just ran out of things to put in the game manual.

3. Unlocking things.

If a racing game advertises over 250 cars and two dozen different racetracks, there better be over 250 cars and two dozen different racetracks available to play as soon as I start the game the Very First Time. Oh boy! I get to choose from a Geo Storm and a Yugo! And I can only drive on the flat oval track! Oh, but you only start with a small amount of money and have to earn race winnings to buy the better cars that you have to unlock by finishing a set number of races on different tracks you unlock by coming in first and under a specified race time. So I'm stuck playing for two hours until I can finally afford a Kia Sephia. Whee. Fun.

4. Engrish.

If I was in charge of a video game company here in the US and we were going to do a Japanese version of our game, I sure as heck would hire someone who spoke Japanese fluently to work on the translation. Probably someone whose first language is Japanese. With all the American military personnel serving in Japan, I'm certain that they have some dependents who would love to work on the English translation of some video games. All they'd have to do is go to the American high school and post flyers asking if anyone would want to work for Square or whoever for a summer.

5. Gamespot going to a pay service.

This isn't an actual video game annoyance as much as it is an annoyance at how they've done it. When a site like Gamespot goes to a pay model, you don't do it the way they did. The most recent seven days are free, but everything else is locked away? No. Your basic Gamespot reviews should be free. All other items -- screenshots, forums, reader reviews, media, gameplay tips and guides -- all that is your extra stuff. I'm not about to pay five bucks or whatever to read a review for a game that came out eight months ago.

6. The time limit on Crazy Taxi

I want to keep playing forever.

-Faux "and would it have killed them to put more than two songs in the game?" Pas