I like this one better than the last. It has a great hook in the opening! I also think it captures a great atmosphere, a feeling of melancholy and also a little bit of alienation.

Your last story had the quality of a dream, but I found the overuse of "he", eg, "he did, he floated" etc, distracting. It would have dragged me in perfectly otherwise.

I do like your writing and I think it has a lot of potential. I can't wait for the next one.

ding"not a particular good reviewer"dong