Recently (thirty minutes ago), I had the opportunity to mail a few books to a friend in Canada. It was rather interesting. After debating whether to use the large white customs sheet that would have obscured the mailing addresses or use the tiny green customs stamp, I used the tiny green one.

At the window, the postal employee wanted to know if I wanted to ship this via air mail or by ship. "Um, it's going to Canada," were my exact words. The only bit of water between here and the package's destination is the St. Lawrence. The land border between Canada and the United States is the world's largest. I couldn't fathom that they would send the parcel by boat. Couldn't they just drive it on up? It would have taken me eight or ten hours to drive up to her house and hand off the books in person.

For those of you still interested, posting a package by boat would take six to eight weeks to go from Here to There. Silly Post Office.

Then I was told I should've used the really big piece of customs wrapping paper because the books weighed so much. I thought of the Tippy Turtle cartoon on Saturday Night Live where Tippy Turtle mailed a helium balloon in a balsa wood box.

-Faux "The books are on their way!" Pas