For those who do not know me and my character well, this post will make little sense. Go and read up on me a bit first-- Do a search for messages by author "Don the Monkeyman" and "Don Jackson". I think I have a few by "Don", too, but they don't matter as much.

So, if you do know me, you must know how obsessed I am about getting a girlfriend. The names "Miss Lovely Plumage", "REALLY Cute Girl", "Church Girl", and "Amanda" might ring some bells. The idea that I am very interested in having a girlfriend, but too gutless to do anything about it, should be familiar to you. I am about to change all that. By the way, I was originally going to post this message on April Fool's Day (by coincidence), but decided nobody would believe me if I did. :-)

So, here it is: The shocking truth.

I think I have finally figured out the reason why I never get up the courage to ask a girl out. I think I know why I always back away. It should have been more obvious to me. I should have seen it sooner.

I don't WANT a girlfriend.

How could this be, you ask? Monkeyman ALWAYS rants about how much he wants to meet someone, about all the cute prospects he wants to ask out on dates, even sometimes how lonely he is. How could that possibly NOT have meant that he wanted a girlfriend?

Well, the simple truth is, I think I was deceiving myself. I thought I wanted a girlfriend because I have always thought I wanted a girlfriend. I thought I needed the sorts of things that dating could give me. Now I think I was wrong.

I think what I have been seeking was a very good, close, female FRIEND. There is a big difference between that and a girlfriend; I'm sure most people here will understand what that difference is. What I have come to realize, though, is that all the things that I want from a girlfriend are things that I could just as easily get from a friend. All the extra stuff that dating adds to friendship has always been troublesome for me.

Of course, I know that there are problems in this line of thinking. I know that there are some things that I want from life that will be hard to get without dating. However, I believe that I can reconcile these differences. At the very least, I have decided to start shifting my focus. If I try to make friends with women KNOWING that I do not intend to try and date them, I should have a much easier time getting along in daily life.

I know some of this sounds obvious, but it has never quite crystallized in this way for me. There is a lot more that I could say on this subject, but I don't think much of it will be interesting. I just felt like sharing this epiphany of insight with the rest of the Forum. :-)

Don "Of course, now something weird will happen and I will meet someone perfect and change my mind and go out with her and look like an idiot when I tell you all about it. Ah, who am I kidding-- I have nothing to fear in that department. :-)" Monkey