> I echo the sentiments that Issachar and others have voiced, and would also add what I found out about being married:
>
> That this person I married was no longer just friend, lover, and companion, but became *family*. Coming from a very small, very loyal, very reserved clan, this was a profound discovery for me...that an *outsider* could become family--how wonderful. And how difficult at times. Because in the family, you have obligations you cannot walk away from, you have annoyances you must live with, issues to work out. But of course, you also have unswerving support. You have someone whose welfare is completely entwined with your own. I have had other boyfriends and other close friends but love them as I did they weren't...family.
>
> ...and as an unexpected bonus, I became part of *his* family too. His large, unreserved, crazy family. With all the same implications, both good and bad.
>
> I would say, if you have so many reservations, if you are scared, then do not get married. Marriage, like and war and space travel,is not someting you want to go into half-heartedly.
>
> koala"married 18 years"mom

I just want to add a little from my own experience. I have been living with my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years now, and we were together for about 5 years before that. I have no interest in marriage, and feel that are relationship has more committment because of that. We have committed to a life together, but on our own terms. We have gotten past the "honeymoon" period, and we know that there is more than love there. We've been through a lot together, and neither of us has ever tried to walk away.
You don't need a marriage certificate to feel married.

ding"I hate it when people assume that because we're not married, that it's obviously because I haven't been able to talk him into it"dong