I echo the sentiments that Issachar and others have voiced, and would also add what I found out about being married:

That this person I married was no longer just friend, lover, and companion, but became *family*. Coming from a very small, very loyal, very reserved clan, this was a profound discovery for me...that an *outsider* could become family--how wonderful. And how difficult at times. Because in the family, you have obligations you cannot walk away from, you have annoyances you must live with, issues to work out. But of course, you also have unswerving support. You have someone whose welfare is completely entwined with your own. I have had other boyfriends and other close friends but love them as I did they weren't...family.

...and as an unexpected bonus, I became part of *his* family too. His large, unreserved, crazy family. With all the same implications, both good and bad.

I would say, if you have so many reservations, if you are scared, then do not get married. Marriage, like and war and space travel,is not someting you want to go into half-heartedly.

koala"married 18 years"mom