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Re: Melancholy and the Infinite Sadness
Posted By: Wolfspirit, on host 206.47.244.94
Date: Wednesday, February 21, 2001, at 22:36:13
In Reply To: Re: Melancholy and the Infinite Sadness posted by dingdong on Wednesday, February 21, 2001, at 19:50:57:

> > this did create a void in my life. Once we broke up, this void grew. Now I have people I can talk to about SOME things whenever I want, but there are some things that NOBODY in my life wants to yak about for hours on end.
> >
> > In a way, this has been a good thing. I do not tend to talk people's ears off as much as I used to. Of course, in other ways, I am now STARVING for conversation. This shows up in the way I post to the Forum and the way I talk in RinkChat. I bring up all sorts of things, trying desperately to get a conversation going. [...] The other problem, of course, is that I like voice conversations, and the internet, while providing a reasonable substitute, is simply not the same.
> > [...]
> >
> > Don "Starved" Monkey

Do give yourself some time and space. You know, I sincerely believe you WILL eventually find someone who is the mate of your soul. I think you always come across as an exquisitely sociable person, constantly respectful of the tone and tenor of those participating in conversation with you. This is a rare skill, even if you think you're boring everyone and his dog for miles around with so-called aimless rehashing. But what are friends if we don't let you vent any long-term frustrations in a constructive manner? You're clearly worth it. :-)


>
> I've been doing a lot of reading about the art of listening, and what a difficult skill it is. A lot of people don't bother really listening to someone, all they're doing is waiting for a break in the conversation so they can put their own comments in.

The curse of most casual conversations is that people constantly feel they have to 'entertain' their listeners with fascinating tidbits, witty repartee, etc. I suppose the recent Poll Question (which found Humour to be the most important attribute of an ideal partner) bears out this bias. When you're busy formulating your thoughts to produce the next knee-slapping salvo, then of course you're not going to be listening effectively. Don has the gift of expressing himself deeply and honestly, so the least we can do is listen as deeply.

Wolf "HUG" spirit