For those disappointed that my "Rumble At McDonald's" thread did not actually have a rumble in it, let me state up front that this story does not have a rumble in it either.

It does, however, have Stealth Lady A.

The Scene: Darleen and I are eating out at a place called "The Far East," a Chinese place with a lunch buffet that's to die for (sometimes literally, considering the grease and MSG content of Chinese food). It is so good that we drive further than we normally would, past several other acceptable but inferior Chinese food places, to eat there. So we're sitting at a booth, eating away, when SUDDENLY, from out of NOWHERE, Stealth Lady A, a 79 year old woman, appeared right at our table and started talking to us. I think she was part of the dinner party in the tables next to us, and while they were getting up to leave, she turned around to talk to us while the rest of her party were gathering their things and putting on their coats. Stealth Lady A, despite her age, was anything but frail. She was cheery, but you wouldn't want to cross her. She spoke in a gravelly voice, leaning in close against the table. Now remember, Leen and I were just eating our dinner as always, when ALL OF A SUDDEN:

Lady A: "Now you kids be sure and eat all your din-din."

Leen/Sam: ??

(It was hard to 1. come to grips with the surreality of what was happening, 2. understand her, and 3. figure out the polite way to react. The perplexion apparently registered.)

Lady A: "Ha ha, (to Leen) he didn't hear what I said, (to me) DID YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID???"

Sam: "Uh, yes, I heard you."

Lady A: "Oh, that's good. Smile. It wouldn't hurt you to smile. Smile for me, I'm an old lady."

Sam: *trying to smile and cursing the fact that smiling on demand, except for a camera (and others would argue even then) is about the dumbest, most humiliating thing ever*

Lady A: "Would you believe it, I'm 79 years old."

Sam: "Wow."

Lady A: "Wow. Ha ha! That's what I said. You kids have fun, ok?"


Now, don't get me wrong. I think we would live in a sad world indeed when it is considered odd or weird to speak to a stranger. I already think we live in a cold enough place. But this was just surreal. It wasn't that someone was talking to us but that someone was very suddenly, without warning, without introductory niceties, RIGHT THERE, and asking us giving us the very odd advice that we should eat all of our all-you-can-eat buffet meals.

And the "DID YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID?" was a RIOT, or at least I thought so after the discomfort of the moment. She said that LOUD, leaning in close to make sure I heard her. It reminded me of Chris Tucker, in "Rush Hour," saying, to Jackie Chan, "DO YOU...UNDERSTAND...THE WORDS...THAT ARE COMIN' OUT OF MY MOUTH?"

Freaky. Nice lady. But strange experience.