> Interesting. It reminded me of all the dreams I have about floating and doing weird things. So, that's good, the imagery and such. It's very interesting, although I don't know so much if it is a story or just a neat description. It's almost like a narrative poem or something. Very cool though.
> Unlike Sakura, I found no problem with the comma's. I think maybe you should add more or develop a plot if you want it to be more than a sort of short narrative poem type thing. Otherwise it was great. Bunches of praise.
>
> Mel"I won't post my fiction on here, because most of it is much, much too long"anie

Hmm. That is the kind of feedback I was looking for. It is kind of a narrative poem, but because of the nature of what I was talking about, I wanted it to be that way. I guess I mainly wanted to see if I could write something interesting... I wonder if anyone has found my second story to be interesting...

Don "Name quotes are getting tiresome sometimes, for some reason..." Monkey