An awful lot of trucks and SUVs park in the "compact cars only" parking spaces because there's nothing left. If compact car owners would try parking there first and then in the open spaces when the "compact cars only" line is full, it'd be much easier to get out of here this evening.

There's someone who took up two spaces in a parking lot that always gets full. If I had my snow shovel with me, I'd gladly be an hour late for work. I'd bury that car with all the snow that's piled along the edges of the lot.

If someone wants to sit down on the bus and you're in the aisle seat, just scoot over and let them sit down. We'll all be on our way much sooner than if you stand up, get in the aisle, have them cross over in front of you to the window, then sit down again. Quit holding up the line! It's cold out here!

I pick up Maxim magazine to read on the bus, but I'm usually too embarrassed to read it. There's always an attractive woman wearing somewhat revealing clothing on the cover and words like "Sex 911" and "FOXY!" always cover up the naughty bits. I fell like I'm reading some sort of hard-core porn magazine. However, the articles are rather interesting (stuff like an interview with a hockey goalie, how to James Bond-ize your car, and the guy who carries the emergency must-launch-nuclear-missles-at-Russia codes for the US President).

When I take out the magazine, a woman reading this month's Cosmo gives me a dirty look. I find that ironic.

Last night, I saw a commercial for an unreality game show called "Temptation Island". Basically, they fly dating couples to a tropical island and have twently women seducing the boyfriend and twenty men seducing the girlfriend. They try to see who'll cheat. I think that would make a great porn movie.

Why is it that no matter which bus I catch, I always arrive at 8:45?

When it's cold out, there aren't as many religious zealots in the subway system. My favorite is this guy named Chris. He always gets on the A train at 42nd Street and manages to get into whatever car I'm in. He's got the same routine -- first he collects money for the homeless and is nice and civil about it. He always has a banana. Then, after a stop or two, he launches into his sermon about how he was homeless and a crack addict and had a horrible body odor and all this changed when he became Christian. Then he talks about how wonderful Christianity is. I like him much better than the other religious people in the subway system. Other people yell and scream about Jesus and think they're witnessing. Shrieking at people won't help convert anyone.

You have captive audiences on a subway car.

The subway car I am riding in is sponsored by Banana Republic. Most subway cars have advertising for one company or product on one side of the car and another company on the other side. Other subway cars have spot ads for those companies who can't afford a full-on media blitz. One car had both sides covered in orange juice ads. One of the ads read "As much Vitamin C as this car is full of dot com ads", which would've worked had they not purchased all available ad space to push o.j. Anyway, I hate the Banana Republic ad campaign. I want to punch all their models.

The guy next to me has a newspaper with a mailing label. He rips off the mailing label and leaves the paper on the seat at the next stop. He just committed premeditated littering.

I'm in the great river of humanity exiting the subway station. Sometimes I feel like I should just spread my arms and flow with the current.

-Faux "at work again with nothing to do again" Pas