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Re: BAM scripts
Posted By: eric sleator, on host 152.163.194.199
Date: Wednesday, June 28, 2000, at 17:09:08
In Reply To: Re: BAM scripts posted by Mel on Sunday, January 16, 2000, at 20:57:33:

> > Anyone interested in posting their own attempts at a BAM script up here? I think it might be kinda neat just to see some more reader scripts. It would also mean that we could do books that have already been done, or that don't have a place on Rinkworks official (i.e. horror stuff). Just an idea. Anyway, I'll start it with a real quick attempt at the Iliad (which I know is going to be on Classics soon after it's opening):
> >
> > Achilles:
> > My life sucks. I hate this war, and Agememnon. At least I can't be killed.
> >
> > (Achilles goes into BATTLE, and is KILLED.)
> >
> > (The End.)
> >
> > Comments welcome, and now I want to see some other tries (no matter how bad they are. I mean, even if your script isn't any good, I can still get some entertainment out of mocking you. Heh, kidding. Of course, go ahead and mock me all you want).
>
> Well, I'll give it a try. Feel free to make comments, suggestions, etc. (note: these contain spoilers)
>
> The Collected Works of John Grisham:
>
> A Struggling Young Southern Lawyer:
> I'm struggling and young, but at least I have ethics.
>
> An Evil And Corrupt DA, Attorney, or CEO:
> I'll crush you like the impudent bug you are.
>
> The Struggling Young Southern Lawyer:
> Oh no you don't.
> (wins the big case)
>
> The End
>
>
> The Restaurant at the End of the Universe:
>
> (Everyone FLIES around. Then they have LUNCH. Then they fly around SOME MORE.)
>
> The End
>
>
> Life, the Universe, and Everything:
>
> (Arthur and Ford go CRAZY)
>
> Slartibartfast:
> Arthur, Ford, help me save the universe.
>
> Arthur and Ford:
> Okay.
>
> (TRILLIAN saves the universe)
>
> Readers:
> *gasp* It had a plot! (faints)
>
>
>
> The End
>
> So Long and Thanks For All the Fish:
>
> (The Earth wasn't really DESTROYED)
>
> Arthur:
> Oh joy, I'll go home and do normal, uninteresting things.
>
> (he does)
>
> The End
>
>
>
> Mostly Harmless:
>
> (The Earth was destroyed after all)
> (The Earth gets destroyed)
> (Everyone DIES)
>
> Ultra Die Hard Fans:
> Hehe. That Douglas Adams sure is funny.
>
> Everyone Else:
> Huh?
>
> The End
>
>
> M"replying to old messages is FUN!"el
>

The collective Harry Potter works:

(Harry gets made fun of, and something evil happens.)

HARRY: Help! Someone's out to get me!

TEACHERS: Oh NO! Everyone help him!

(Harry breaks the rules.)

MRS. McDONELLORWHATEVERHERSILLYNAMEIS: You broke the rules, but you did it for the right reason, so it's OK.

(They find the guy who is out to get Harry, but it turns out it's SOMEONE ELSE, the ONE YOU LEAST SUSPECT.)

HARRY: Thanks. Oh! Voldemort!

(VOLDEMORT shows up and then GOES AWAY.)

THE END

-eric "but I'm still looking forward to number four" sleator
Wed 28 Jun A.D. 2000