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#164

I wrote a predictive analysis algorithm for analyzing acclaimed literature. I fed it the works of Faulkner, Hemingway, Hawthorne, Hardy, Salinger, and such like, then ran the algorithm. The algorithm analyzed the stories and writing styles and weighed that against each work's critical accolades. Using this information, it generated a story outline for what is scientifically calculated to be the One True Great American Novel. It's a tragic but bittersweet tale about this guy whose passions run contrary to the irrational demands of a mercilessly judgmental society, and so his individualism is suppressed and leads to his eventual destruction. Once at the top of the social hierarchy, now he is disgraced and ostracized. It tears him apart, and then a war finishes the job, rendering his entire life meaningless. The epilogue tells how his illegitimate children grow up to become jerks. I think the powerful disestablishmentarianist message will resonate profoundly, and the book will surely be the greatest anti-war piece of our time.