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RMI stands for Remote Method Invocation, and it is a toolkit in the Java programming language to allow a program running on one computer to manipulate data on another computer, thereby providing the means to write client/server networked software systems. Well, software is all well and good, but I think we should install RMI on people. Then I could go down to the beach or the mall, blend in with the crowd, and start invoking methods on people and making them do funny things. Like, I'd run some guy's "raise right arm in the air" procedure, and he'd flail all around and wonder what was going on. Or I'd run some woman's "get down to rap music" method and see how much of an amused crowd she could draw. For people I hate, the "slap self in face very hard" procedure would be a good one to call, and of course the "throw your wallet in the general direction of me" would be useful, too.