There is probably no actor more deserving of the title "All-American Favorite" than John Wayne. The icons of strength he portrayed on the screen have been the inspiration of countless young men through the ages. Even as we approach the new millennium, the very name "John Wayne" continues to evoke images of calm stalwart strength and purpose rarely seen in today's movies.

Perhaps that's why casting him as Ghengis Khan in "The Conqueror" seems so ridiculous.

This 1953 film, financed by eccentric mogul Howard Hughes, tells the story of Ghengis Khan (called by his original name "Temujin" throughout the movie and receiving his famous moniker at the end). The title role was intended for Marlon Brando, who had just won wide acclaim for his role in "Julius Ceasar." Hoping to cash in on Brando's newfound image as a Shakespearean actor, the dialogue of "The Conqueror" is flowery and prosaic. Sadly, Brando turned it down, so Universal hired some one with even more star power to play the part: John Wayne.

The funniest thing about the movie is Wayne's incongruity in the role. He is garbed in mongol leathers and furs, with a big furry hat. He wears a silly Fu Manchu mustache and has his eyelids taped to give him a vaguely Asian look. Wayne's acting in this role is visibly lethargic. As laughable as this is to look at, nothing compares to the way Wayne sounds. When Wayne, with his signature mid-western drawl utters such lines as, "I believe this Tartar woman is for me; my blood says take her!" one wants to laugh, cringe, and groan all at once.

The plot is rather inconsequential. It surrounds Wayne's efforts to win the love of a princess from another tribe, played by the blatantly non-Asian Susan Hayward. Although Wayne and Hayward meet when Wayne raids her caravan, drives off her suitor after giving him her dress as a souvenir, holds her captive, and is revealed as the son of the man who killed her father, they naturally fall in love (?!). Of course, before this can take place, Hayward throws out a few ringers of her own, such as, "Is Temujin so wanting of a woman that he will quench his fire with ice?" You go girl! Oh yes, there is a subplot about Wayne's efforts to conqueror all of Asia. At one point Wayne is captured by another tribe, and upon meeting their chief, gives the great line, "I would give thee the greeting you deserve, but I am bereft of spit!" That's telling 'em, John. But as everyone knows, the story of Ghengis Khan is primarily a love story (?!).

Other famous names in the movie include Estelle Winwood (playing Wayne's mother, despite the fact that in real life she only had a few months on him), William Conrad as Wayne's strong, dim-witted ally, and Lee Van Cleef as mongol #3. They all look as disgusted as Wayne to be in this mess.

According to my sources, Wayne was under contract to produce a set number of movies for Universal and could not refuse when he was handed the script. My theory is some one said to him, "Hey John, we're making a movie. We got a patch of desert in Utah to film in, about 100 horses, some extras from a local Indian reservation, William Conrad and Lee Van Cleef, what do you say?" Wayne, thinking this movie was a Western, agreed. That's the only way I can explain it folks.

Rating: four turkeys. It's just so ridiculous!

Best line: (spoken by Wayne) "She is a woman, much woman. Should her perfidy be less than that of another woman?"

Things that make you go "Huh?": Would Marlon Brando have sounded better saying, "She is a woman, much woman. Should her perfidy be less than that of another woman?"