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It's a Bad, Bad, Bad, Bad Movie

Reader Review


Over the Top

Posted by: Mike Dikk
Date Submitted: Wednesday, July 21, 1999 at 01:27:17
Date Posted: Friday, July 30, 1999 at 04:25:21

This movie is pure proof that ANYONE can write a movie and someone will buy the script.

Sylvester Stallone stars in his cheesiest movie ever and quite possibly THE cheesiest movie ever.

Sly plays a truck driver by day, arm wrestler by night, named Lincoln Hawk. Ok, now read the above sentence in your head over again. Now close your eyes. Now think if there was ever a time in your life -- go as far back as you can remember -- where you wanted to see a movie about a truck driving arm wrestler.

So Lincoln has a son, whom he attempts to pick up from military school in the beginning of the movie. The son reluctantly goes with him. Lincoln's ex-wife and the kid's mom wanted Lincoln to pick him up for some reason. She's also sick in the hospital. I think she contracted "Horrible Plot Syndrome" or something. So the kid hates Lincoln, but Lincoln doesn't understand why. (I'm pretty sure it's because he's an arm wrestling truck driver.) Soon it's revealed that the kid has an evil uncle or grandparent or whatever that hates Lincoln and for some reason doesn't want Lincoln seeing his son anymore. (Again, I'm guessing it's because of the arm wrestling truck driver thing.) Lincoln and the kid end up going to a truck stop. Somehow word gets to the backroom that "the" Lincoln Hawk is in the building. So of course, just as would normally happen in real life, some big guy with a really cool sounding name challenges Lincoln to an arm wrestling match for money. Lincoln beats him. Then the main villain, Bull Hurley challenges Lincoln, but Lincoln refuses. He says, "Wait till Vegas." Foreshadowing!

So the kid gains and/or loses respect for Lincoln every two seconds. Also, for some reason, the grandfather has evil henchmen that keep trying to kidnap the kid.

Lincoln teaches his son to arm wrestle. Lincoln has an "arm wrestling exercise machine" in his truck.

The son finally gets to the point where he hates his dad and runs away, and then the evil henchman sort of kidnap him. There's only one thing left to do. Go to Vegas for the big arm wrestling tournament!

At this point I'm going to stop talking about the son, because if you made it this far into the movie, you really won't care.

The prize at the big arm wrestling tournament is a lot of money that no "professional arm wrestler" would win in real life and a big rig, because everyone knows if you're an arm wrestler, you're also a truck driver.

Lincoln wins his arm wrestling matches in a very unique way. He "turns the switch on," which is a fancy name for turning his baseball cap backwards when he's losing a match. Somehow this gives him magical arm wrestling powers.

So it ends up where Lincoln Hawk finally meets his arch nemesis Bull Hurly in the arm wrestling finals. There's like thousands of spectators at this tournament. In real life there would be about eight. There's also "interviews" with the arm wrestlers in between matches, which are actually quite frightening to watch. They also use a *special* arm wrestling table for the last match. Of course Bull and Lincoln hate each other and can't keep their hands in the standard arm wrestling position, so the refs have to "get the strap." I have used the title "Get the Strap!" for anything I do in print or on a web site for the past year, because it's the all time dumbest thing I have ever seen in a movie.

It amazes me that everyone involved with this movie didn't attempt suicide after vieiwng the final product.

Rating: 5 turkeys if you have a high tolerance for bad movies. 1 turkey if you only watch bad movies that don't try to take themselves seriously.

Best line: "I drink motor oil for you!"

Interesting fact: "Over the Top" refers to the part in an arm wrestling match where you get the upper hand.

Cameo to watch for: wrestling legend Terry Funk plays one of the evil henchmen.

Response From RinkWorks:

Actually, I've seen pro arm wrestling on TV, and they really do use that special table. But I've never seen THE STRAP used.

Also, you forgot to mention the *stupidest* thing about the whole movie. The little hand-flutter repositioning thing that Stallone does to get the upper hand. I remember back when I was in 8th grade, around the time this movie came out, and suddenly everyone in my class was interested in arm-wrestling. We'd arm-wrestle before and after class and during lunch and stuff. Whenever I'd be arm-wrestling someone, and they had me at a dissadvantage, inevitably someone would yell, "Over the Top, Dave!" and I'd do the little Stallone hand-flutter thing. And I'd lose anyway. Because it didn't work. In fact, not only did the hand-flutter thing actually seem to put you at a *disadvantage* (your hand ended up in a completely awkward position afterwards), I'd be willing to bet it's also illegal in competitive arm-wrestling. Go figure.


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