Questions Asked of Librarians
The following have all been asked of library reference desk workers in
the USA and Canada.
- "I'm looking for a book."
- "Do you have books here?"
- "Do you have a list of all the books written in the English language?"
- "Do you have a list of all the books I've ever read?"
- "I'm looking for Robert James Waller's book, 'Waltzing through
Grand Rapids." -- The actual title is "Slow Waltz In Cedar
- "Where is the reference desk?" -- Asked of a worker sitting at a
desk, over which was a sign saying 'REFERENCE DESK'.
- "Can you tell me why so many famous Civil War battles were fought on
National Park sites?"
- "Which outlets in the library are appropriate for my hairdryer?"
- "I was here about three weeks ago looking at a cookbook that cost
$39.95. Do you know which one it is?"
- "I need a color photograph of George Washington." -- Other
individuals asked for, by other patrons, are Christopher Columbus,
King Arthur, Moses, Socrates, and more.
- "Do you have any books with photographs of dinosaurs?"
- "I'm looking for information on carpal tunnel syndrome. I think I'm
having trouble with it in my neck."
- "Is the basement upstairs?"
- "I am looking for a list of laws that I can break that would send me
back to jail for a couple of months."
- "I got a quote from a book I turned in last week but I forgot to write
down the author and title. It's big and red, and I found it on the
top shelf. Can you find it for me?"
- "Do you have anything good to read?" -- The response was, "No,
ma'am. I'm afraid we have 75,000 books, and they're all duds."
- Patron: "I am looking for a globe of the earth."
- Librarian: "We have a table-top model over here."
- Patron: "No, that's not good enough. Don't you have a life-size?"
- Librarian: (pause) "Yes, but it's in use right now."
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