Help! I have this Howardian urge to post about my yard work!

Last night I bought a new gas can and mixed up some fuel for my 2-cycle engine Weed Eater. Our lawn hadn't been mowed since we took possession of the house June 30, and the back yard was starting to look like a rain forest. All the rain we've been getting this month surely contributed to the intense growth.

I have a lawn mower, but it needs some work before it'll be ready to mow... the movers stored it sideways in the crate and all the oil leaked out all over the bin full of clothes that they put it on top of. (Believe you me, they lost points on my customer satisfaction survey for that!) Fortunately, it was a plastic bin and most of the oil seemed to be contained on the lid; I don't think any of the clothes inside got oiled.

So I had to mow the whole lawn with the Weed Eater. It's a fairly small lawn, so I figured it would work okay. But yikes those plants were JUICY! I had to put on a pair of goggles, because big wet gobbets of vegetable matter kept flying up and hitting me in the face. By the time I was done, I was covered from head to toe in salad. It didn't help that the people we bought the house from were apparently left-wing environmentalist wacko tree-huggers and let the back yard grow like a jungle. The sidewalk from the back door to the garage was overgrown with weird-looking tropical foliage and creepers. Got that about halfway cleared out.

I need to get that lawnmower prepped. And I need a pair of hedge shears. And a trimmer. And a sidewalk edger. And more than three hours in the evening each night to work. No, what I really need is an army of Rinkies to come to my house and do my yard work for me. Howard can supervise. C'mon guys!

Gri"somebody say something"shny