> Grishny,
>
> Thank you for your reply.
>
> I like your theory about personal physical
> space, and self-preservation being
> maintained in the lack of it by guarding heavily
> one's mental and emotional space. On
> reflection, it's awfully hard to sort out who to
> trust and who not to upon first glance in the
> city, as there are just so many people to sort
> out it becomes overwhelming.
>
> I imagine I might adjust eventually, if I were to
> live in the city (which I've thought of doing
> temporarily), but at what cost? What, exactly,
> would "adjustment" entail? Isolation?
> Distrust? Insecurity? I am energized by talking
> with strangers (can't ya tell?), and having to
> close up to them feels very limiting. I'd love to
> have the perspective of people who live in a
> big city and are happy and healthy there. How
> do you meet new people? How do you learn
> who to trust when there is so much sensory
> information bombarding your instinctual
> sensors? How do you retain a feeling of
> individuality?
>
> It's interesting you should mention the austere
> manner of New Englanders, Grishny, as I
> myself and a Connecticut native. However, I
> haven't been to many other parts of the
> country, so I'm unable to make a judgement
> on that stereotype based on personal
> experience.
>
> I have been to Melbourne, Australia, twice, so I
> can tell you a little bit about my social
> experience in that country. Considering that I
> was in such a big city, I was surprised when
> my hosts thanked the public transport drivers,
> or chatted easily with cab drivers (the one cab
> driver we had in NYC did not say one word to
> Matt or I -- no joke!). I never even considered
> thanking the bus drivers at home until I
> returned from Melbourne, and I live in the
> countryside where people are supposed to be
> more friendly. Do you send out vocal regards
> to bus drivers in Iowa?
>
> Thanks again for your thoughts.
>
> Regards,
> Dagmar

I live in a bid city...Toronto...and I seem to be in both worlds. The small community of friends and the much larger one of the big city...To me they are two different places..I like to talk to new people, but, when I'm in "Big City Mode" I'm a lot more selective.
Sosiqui- you mentined you made more friends in the small group than in the large one...I just take it a little farther. If I think someone has the potential for non-violence, I don't worry about saying hello. I smile at the people who have catch my eye
I've noticed when I'm in BCM, I too, do not see the same things that I see when with people I trust.

In BCM I don't mean to ignore the others around me,but I am often mentally distracted.

Maybe this all means nothing, but if I get people into a smaller group (20 or less) I have the opportunity to make a friend and lots of nodding, smiling aquaintences.

Ar"sorry this isn't old world"ley