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Re: Introspection
Posted By: TheOtherMatthew, on host 151.201.61.131
Date: Saturday, August 18, 2001, at 08:49:05
In Reply To: Re: Introspection posted by Kaz! on Saturday, August 18, 2001, at 07:06:07:

I feel oddly saddened and inspired by this thread. :-) Personally, things like that guy writing on a notebook don't bother me. It doesn't. Maybe it's because I'm 17, because I'm too young to let that stuff bother me, maybe I'm too young to 'care' but to me, that is just some random guy doing something dumb that I'll never see again. I don't let junk like that get to me. I feel that I have too much other stuff to worry about. I don't think that it's because I don't care, I think it's because I care about other stuff that I deem more important.

Perhaps this is an 'eye of the beholder' type of issue. A guy and a notebook won't bother me. People driving with cell phones glued to their ear don't bother me. What bothers me is stuff that is constantly happening to me, and directly impacts me and people I care about everyday (keyword: everyday). My mother and I getting in arguments. Sitting by myself during lunch at school. Sitting at home every Friday night. My brother getting picked on at school. THAT stuff bothers me.

What drains on me is stuff that happens over and over and over and over again. THAT is what sucks. And that is the stuff that is hardest to change. I've tried being nicer to my mother. I've tried sitting with kids at lunch. I've tried getting someone to go to a ball game with me on a Friday night. I've tried yelling at the kids picking on my brother. But to no avail. Some guy writes on a notebook? I shrug and tear the page out. Some one chatting on a cell phone while driving? I make it a point to get past them as soon as possible. Then it is forgotten about. But I cannot forget about the things that happen everyday. And seems everyday that things have a smaller and smaller chance of changing. I wouldn't say I'm losing hope, I'm only 17, I'm too young to be hopeless. I got many more years ahead of me. I hope :-). But hey, I'm trying.

The Other "Why did he want to test the pen, anyways?" Matthew