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Re: WARNING: This thread may contain spoiler for Planet Of The Apes.
Posted By: gremlinn, on host 24.25.220.173
Date: Saturday, July 28, 2001, at 19:25:15
In Reply To: WARNING: This thread may contain spoiler for Planet Of The Apes. posted by Jezzika on Friday, July 27, 2001, at 23:48:01:

> I saw the remake for Planet of the Apes tonight.
>
> Good Points:
>
> - The apes really seemed like highly evolved apes, not just men in ape suits. They moved like apes, sounded like apes, most likely smelled like apes.

Except when taking to air. I'm pretty sure apes can't make fifty foot jumps from a standstill. Of course, this was just done for dramatic effect, and I didn't really mind that much. Mindless fun.

>
> -The choreography and special effects enhanced the movie without seeming silly or over-the top. Just enough to make the apes seem alien and animal-like.
>
> -The makeup was flawless. Wow. There were hot women-apes.
>

Yes, I thought the costumes, make-up, etc., were very well done.

> -The main theme music. Composed by the same guy who did the Simpsons' theme, it was pretty cool.
>
> Bad Points:
>
> -Mark Wahlburg is a convincing porn star (Boogie Nights), but he's no Charlton Heston. I wasn't hoping for an uninspired clone of Heston, but Wahlburg does not have the intensity to carry off the role of a rebel leader. The review I read for the movie said he seemed more like a camp counselor giving a pep talk than a real leader. I agree.
>

To read the expression off his face, I had to zoom in and measure the deviation of his left eyebrow from a neutral position. It was that hard to see what emotion he was trying to express.

> -Some sci-fi cliches. Wahlburg's spacepod goes into the future, and the chronometer, in big bright numbers, shows the time warp occuring. YEAR T+2000!!!! Whatever. Could I have some wine with that cheese?
>

In terms of fine technical points, it was hard to find anything in this movie about space and time travel that wasn't implausible.

> - THE ENDING! Like, gag me with a spoon! Ok, for those who haven't seen it, it's nothing like the original movie. The movie was decent until the last ten minutes. See it, and you'll be as disgusted as I am. Unless you understand it... if so, please explain here so I can maybe get a grip on that heinous ending.
>

I think I peeked at this thread before seeing the movie, so I was expecting the ending to be bad. I thought that the whole deal with how they fought off the ape hordes was the unbelievable ending. Then I saw the real ending.

> I've read/viewed plenty of sci-fi, plus I have always studied science for enjoyment, so I can usually grasp the typical sci-fi premise. But I was truly befuddled by this movie. Too many loose ends and things that make you go "Huh?"
>
> Also, look for Charlton Heston's cameo. It is screamingly hilarious, what his character does. NRA is UNIVERSAL, babee! Guns don't kill apes, apes kill apes.
>
> --Jez"damn, dirty dishes!"zika