As stated in another reply to this message thread, I went on a trip out to the midwestern state of Wisconsin where a relative of mine was getting married.

My wife's side of the family is huge. My wife has three sisters. Her mom has five brothers. All the brothers have at least two children. There's some people kind of up and over on the family tree. There are other people off to the side and up then over and down. I have no idea who I'm related to.

So here I was, in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin, attending a wedding for someone whom I was not really certain how I was related to them (turns out it was a first cousin).

The area was rather nice; it was somewhat flat, but with low, rolling hills. It could have been anyplace I've been in: east Texas, western Illinois, central Iowa.

The city name is Lake Geneva, the lake name is Geneva Lake. To me, a small boy growing up battling dragons and winning princesses hands but more importantly getting the dragon's hoard, Lake Geneva meant only one thing -- this was the Home of Dungeons & Dragons. TSR, Inc., was based out of Lake Geneva, up until a few years ago when it was purchased by Wizards of the Coast. That didn't stop me from looking for the familiar dragon logo everywhere we went.

Lake Geneva (and the surrounding towns) is basically a resort area. There are three lakes in the area and several golf courses. We stayed at the Inns at Geneva National, just off one of the three golf courses. Man, I wish I brought my clubs and knew how to use them. The courses looked exquisite.

We were invited to a Greyhound Racetrack for the rehearsal dinner. Greyhounds are cute, cute dogs. I expected the dogs to chase a stuffed rabbit. However, they chased a motorized big white plastic bone. I won about five dollars.

Greyhounds are fast.

The wedding was on Saturday and was a Catholic Wedding Mass. I touched on the Catholic Wedding Mass in the New York thread. Here, I'll go into a bit more detail.

A Catholic Wedding Mass is a full Catholic Mass, except a couple gets married in the middle. The groom and his men are by the altar, the bridesmaids and the bride come up the aisle. The bride's father gives the bride to the groom. The photographer hovers around, taking many many pictures (not actually part of Church doctrine).

The priest begins by welcoming everyone to the church and to the wedding. He explains a few things to the congregation, for the sake of non-Catholics or Catholics who haven't attended a Wedding Mass before. The wedding couple stays just at the riser before the altar. They generally stay kneeled during the Mass.

There are three readings in a normal Mass; one from the Old Testament, one from the New Testament, and one from the Gospel. These readings are selected by the wedding couple.

The priest delivers a Homily, a sermon about marraige, love, and all that mushy stuff.

After the Homily, there is the Exchange of Vows. Before the couple reads their vows, they are asked questions by the priest, questions that deal with rejecting Satan and all his works, having an acceptance to any children that may come, and raising said children as Roman Catholics. "We do," is the reply they make. Then there is the actual vows.

You can read your own vows or you can do the standard movie wedding ceremony ("Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?" "I do.")

After the vows (or, as they are also called, the Declaration of Love), the priest blesses the rings and the groom places the ring on the bride's finger saying, "With this ring, I thee wed." The bride places the groom's ring on his finger, repeating the line.

They kiss.

Communion:

The bride's and groom's parents bring up the gifts: Eucharistic wine and bread. The priest blesses the Eucharist, which transubstantiates the Eucharist. (In other words, it becomes blood and flesh. Almost all non-Catholic Christian churches believe that the blood and flesh of Christ co-exists with the wine and bread, not actually becomes it. This, in a nutshell, is the whole transubstantiation/consubstantiantion divide.)

In the Roman Catholic Church, the priest and any Eucharistic Ministers stand at the head of the church and the congregation lines up in the aisle to take Communion. Other churches I've been to (a charismatic movement church and a Church of Christ) had a plate passed around with a Eucharistic wafer/bread that the congregation would break pieces off of.

At this point (or maybe before Communion), the wedding couple lights the Unity Candle. This is an optional part in a Wedding Mass that has become somewhat popular. There's one large candle flanked by two smaller candles. The bride and groom take a smaller candle and light the Unity Candle; both smaller candles are extinguished. The obvious symbolism here is that there once were two separate people and now they have united.

The Our Father is said after the congregation has had time to reflect and pray. The priest says a closing prayer then presents the couple to the congregation and the community as husband and wife for the first time.

Joyous music is played, more photos are taken, and the newlyweds go down the aisle, followed by the wedding party and the families.

That's a Catholic Wedding Mass. It lasts as long as that took to type.

Afterwards, there was much celebrating. We're not only Catholic, we're also Irish -- and we just married into a family that owns a beer distribution company. Huzzah!

In the morning, we were rudely awoken by the groundskeeper who informed us that there is a group of people who would like to play through so if we wouldn't mind getting off the fifteenth hole's green it would be much appreciated.

-Faux "Then we came home." Pas