> Ah, yes, FOOD. Pretty much the main reason we went to France. Well, let me tell you, unless you're eating in the kind of restaurant that requires reservations, your choices are kind of limited. Every single brasserie, and there is virtually one on every corner, has on its menu: onion soup (without the prefix, "French"), croque monsieur (toasted ham and cheese sandwich), croque madame (toasted ham and cheese sandwich with egg), omelettes, and escargo. And usually little else. You can get a tuna or chicken salad, and many places have their own version of pizza, but those few things are your standard fare. And the sandwich is a little weird in that it's ham between two slices of bread, with cheese on top of the top slice, then apparently "toasted" in a broiler. It's kind of a bad place to be if you don't like ham or are Jewish. Add to this the slight fear of Mad Cow or Hoof and Mouth disease, which limited our ability to order beef or the ever present ham, and you get slim pickins.
>

Aw. There are bistro/delis in Montreal which serve Croque Monsieur et Croque Madame. I rather like them; I prefer Croque over American-style pizza, which is often too tart and overcooked. And the times when I can get French onion and cheese-topped soup (Potage d'oignon au gratin) have been memorable. It is the contrasting textures between the layers in these foods which is of interest. What could have been the problem... all the layers tasted the same, or everything was too salty?

Perhaps escargot are only good if they're the large, soft ones served warm in garlic butter. :-)


> The first night, we chose the brasserie equivalent of Denny's. The food was bland and boring, and it turned my poor mother off of her beloved soup de poisson (fish soup) for the rest of the trip. She'd been looking forward to the soup for weeks, and of course, we stopped at the first brasserie where it was listed on the menu, but it was so bad, she didn't order it again the whole trip. Nor did I order croque monsier again.
>

Okay. You must have gotten unlucky. What kind of fish soup is the one that she was looking for? To mention a similar experience with my mother, I remember going throughout ye olde London England, checking out the pubs looking for steak and kidney pie, and they, too, were TERRIBLE.


> The Coke came in a glass bottle (yes!) with a glass and ONE ice cube.
>

After all these years, the Parisians still spurn the use of drinking water as toxic waste?


> I ended up finding the largest department store in Paris, Galleries Layfayette. I would have bet it was the largest department store in the world. Nine floors, a block long.
>

Last time I looked, the largest department store in the world was a toss-up somewhere between Macy's of New York, Harrod's of London, and Tobu of Tokyo.


> Those people know cheese. And fries.

Belgium fries... herbed and garlic mayos.....


> Final two days and return trip in the next installment.

> Okay, if I'm getting bored with this, then I can imagine what it's like from your end. I've written it in my head so many times I tired of the subject.
>

/I'm/ not bored with it....


> Suffice it to say we did a little more sightseeing, had a few more meals, and came home. I already left out half the best parts, like where the guy came up to me and started speaking French a mile a minute, and I just looked at him and said, "Uh.... no Francais...?" whereupon he didn't even bother to look incredulous, merely replied, "No Francais?? PsssssssshhhhhhUH" and dismissed me, literally, with a flip of his hand. I stood in the middle of a restaurant laughing uproariously and being *completely* ignored by every other person there.
>

Heh. Your trip would not be complete without experiencing the world-famous Parisian Attitude, complete with extravagant hand gestures! Mousie, you should feel so honoured! Next time you can tell him «Va te faire foutre dans l'oeil jusqu'à la droit!» (That actually doesn't mean very much -- it just sounds very insulting.)

Don't worry, I know a couple unilingual French-Canadian friends, very pleasant to listen to in French, who once prided themselves in the clear enunciation of their educated and sophisticated conversational skills. They spent a year in France... and said that there was always some dimwit who'd make it obvious that they were foreigners and would always be treated like foreigners.