> The movie on the flight to Boston was "Red Planet," which I had carefully avoided on the way over and made sure to avoid again. I wanted to sleep anyway. By our body clocks, it was the middle of the night. But we had little luck. One row behind us, there was a British family with two screaming kids that kept pushing on our seats. Every time the older kid had to sit in his seat with his seatbelt on, instead of being given free reign to clamber about as he pleased, he screamed at the top of his lungs, while his parents cooed and tried to distract him with talk of happier times.

Oh, I'm getting all nostalgic...stupid bratty kids.

> Meanwhile, two rows ahead of us, there was a kid about the same age, and we never heard a peep out of him, he was so quiet.
>
> I cannot stand permissive parents. I cannot stand soggy hearted idealists who never discipline their children, who do not believe in correcting misbehavior, and -- worst of all -- have all these stupid hippie mystic parenting philosophies about letting children "be free" so as not to "repress their inner spirit." Idiots. All it takes is the tiniest little bit of observation in the world around you: kids who aren't given enforced limits by their parents are raging, stubborn, disruptive problems. They grow up into teenagers with attitudes and then into adults who buckle under real world constraints and emotional stresses, people who can't be responsible to anyone and can't cope with any kind of authority. The lucky ones hit rock bottom and bounce back with some hard-won lessons that could have been learned easier, and without the lingering scars, in childhood. The unlucky ones self-destruct.

For those of you who don't know, last October/November I had a rather unpleasant experience. I was a nanny for a very short-lived month. Although, at the time, I thought it would NEVER end. Let me explain a little.

The parents of the child (there was a seven year-old boy) were very much like the parents Sam described above. They told me they did not believe in punishment. They believed in "natural consequences." Bah! It went something like this: If Matt (the child's name) didn't have his shoes on by the time his dad was ready to leave the house, Matt went without shoes. How safe is THAT? But yet, when Matt yelled and screamed and swore at his mom because the TV went out for FIVE seconds during Dragon Ball Z (and I am NOT exaggerating), his mom would simply say, "Matt, I don't like that. That doesn't make me very happy." If I had said HALF the things he said to his mom that day, I would have been slapped. Probably had my mouth washed out with soap, and I would have deserved it, too. There were more instances, but I don't want to get myself more worked up over bygones than I already am.

> Children NEED to know their limits. They test them for that purpose. Children who try to find their limits and don't find any at all become angry and lonely. No limits means their parents don't care what they do, don't care what happens to them, don't care what trouble they get into. The scars inflicted on these children last a lifetime, and, in the meantime, they scream in my ear when I am trying to sleep on the plane.

Exactly. Poor Matt. It's not HIS fault his parents are raising them the way they are, and yet HE will suffer. He's already lost and lonely, and very very angry. That was one reason I left when I did: I didn't feel I could handle his anger any more, especially when he would yell and scream at me if I didn't do what he wanted. Or if I tried to discipline him. I told his mother that I thought he was too angry for me to handle, and she said, "You haven't been around many little boys, have you?" Perhaps I haven't.

But I'll tell you one thing. This nanny experience taught me, if nothing else, how NOT to raise my future children.