Sometimes when I have been among crowds for a while or if I'm just in a weird mood, I won't want anyone touching me at all. It's an annoying feeling that makes me cringe inside. But a feeling I hate worse is wanting to be touched. I don't know why this happens, but sometimes all I want is for someone to touch me. I feel this way right now. I need a really good hug. The feeling usually lasts for a day or two. The last time this happened I was so lucky because we rode back from the basketball game in a school bus and there were more people than seats, and we were all squished together. This feeling must have started last night as I lay in bed. I had a dream that this guy I know but haven't gotten to talk to in a while was sitting beside me and was caressing my neck and playing with my hair. It was so wonderful. Even more than that, though, was the overwhelming sense of feeling loved. This aspect of the dream came before the emotions in real life that it related to; it was only today that I was feeling less-than-loved. I do know that I am loved. But I have recently really missed being on a freshman hall and being close to some really wonderful girls, and I didn't get to go to the Campus Crusade weekly meeting tonight. It was the first one I've missed in a while, and missing it made me understand just how much I feel loved there. I always knew it was a wonderful community and was always thankful for that, but I never realized how much I actually need it. There's this one guy in a couple of my classes who makes me wish I could just stand behind him and wrap my arms around him and not let go. I realized that recently, and I was thinking about that today when I sat behind him in biology lab. My mom gives really good hugs, and so do a couple of guys from my old high school. I am going to go to bed now, and will hug my pillow.


Ga"I want my mom"halia