I have been thinking for awhile about what I should do about some poetry I wrote over a year ago. You see, someday I am going to publish a book of my poetry. However, I am now debating with myself as to whether or not I should include some of my poetry.

It's like this...before the end of last year, as most of you know, I by no means lived a Christian life. Sure, I was a Christian...I've been one since I was eight, but my point is that I didn't really understand the whole aspect of God and Christianity and everything...I didn't feel close to God, so I just never went to church. Because of that and the fact that I was dealing with some other problems, my poetry from that time is rather bleak. I'm not just talking about sad poems, either. They're at times horrifying, and while none of them mentions God in a bad way, they're not very positive anyway. They're about stuff like abuse, depression, and...well...evil.

I have tried denying it, but I can't...these depressing poems are by far the most soul-wrenching, GREATEST poems I have ever written. I read some today, in fact, and it left me near tears and feeling like I'd been punched in the gut. My question is this: When the time comes for me to publish a book of my poetry, what do I do with the poems written during when I was depressed? Do I put them into the book, since they are good, honest, and well-written? Or do I leave them out because they are very angry, depressing, and at times vulgar? Should I edit them, taking away the intended meaning of the poem, and THEN publish it? Do I throw those poems away? Do I publish TWO books, one of positive poetry from nowdays, and another volume full of painful poems?

Perhaps you'd have to read some of these poems to figure out what I'm talking about. The only problem is I don't want to scare anyone when they found out how I used to write. For example, although I have been blessed with wonderful parents and have never been abused, I wrote a poem in 8th or 9th grade in which a little girl is being physically abused by her parents. It is a cry for help from the girl, but it's upsetting to put it extremely lightly.

~Den-"very worried about this"Kara