> Here's a question for all the married couples of the rink forum: What is it like to be married? It's been on my mind a lot lately, because my girlfriend and I talk about it a lot. I think its really scary to think about, like how do you know if that person is the one?

You don't *know*. Not really. You just have to go with feeling like you're about 95% sure they are, most of the time, and the rest of the time you just go with it anyway, because you've decided they're going to *be* the one. Marriage, like anything else in life, is what you make it.

The alternatives are 1) saying that you *know* the person is the one, and therefore expecting everything to be perfect and easy for the rest of your life, and 2) realising that everything isn't perfect and easy after all, and therefore saying the person couldn't *really* have been the one, so why not quit now and start looking again. Both of those are a really great way not to be married for long.

I apologise if this makes my own relationship sound like an uphill struggle or something; I don't mean that, I just mean that whether or not somebody is "the one" depends a lot more on both of you making a decision and putting in the effort than it does on some mystic blast from heaven.

Brunnen-"not married, but has been in a state of mutual notmarriedness for around eleven years now"G