> I really appreciate your thoughtfulness in considering whether or not you are abusing your opportunity as caregiver to meet a girl.

Well thank you. :-)

> I think the main things to consider here are:
>
> a) are you in a leadership position at your church? --because if you are, she may respond to you as "Don the church leader" while you're thinking "Don the potential date". Some women unintentionaly "gush" over the preacher, for example, not realizing how the preacher may interpret it (preachers being human, after all, and some will take advantage of it). I don't know what your other roles may be there but stand-in-caretaker for one week probably
> doesn't qualify you for this kind of potential abuse situation. So, no abuse so far.

No, I have no other roles in the church at this time. I hope to change that this spring and summer, but only on a small level, and that's not even in the works yet.

> b) are you going to church soley (or should that be soul-y, heh) to pick up dates? Cruising the meeting room every week to see what's fresh? That would be abuse. Nooo, you don't sound like you're doing that either. Still doing okay. And,

Heh, right again. No problems here.

> c) on a related but somewhat more personal note, are you feigning an interest in spiritual things just to get close to this particular spiritually-minded girl? That would be deceit and abuse. For this reason most churches, if they have any kind of prayer partners or discipleship partners, relegate it to same gender pairings to help folks stay focused on God, not on each other. So just don't volunteer to be her one-on-one spiritual mentor, and you should be okay.

Again, no problem. I am definitely not feigning anything here, and would never volunteer to be a spiritual mentor to her (or any other woman, really-- it would need be a comfortable thing for me). As you say, same gender pairings are more common, and that works fine for me.

> Hmmm, and by the way, what's her angle, how important is her relationship to Christ really, or does the church just seem to her like a nice way for meeting guys?...obviously not the sort of thing you can find out in a ten minute conversation. BUT, you CAN decide whether you'd like to get to know her better or not that quickly--there is nothing wrong with that so don't beat yourself up for it. People DO decide that sort of thing quickly, otherwise why did your mother tell you that "first impressions are important" ?

Good point. I am hoping to get the chance to see her again next week, and maybe get to know more of those things. Or maybe not. I am patient...

> Just remember, put Christ first in your life and don't sweat the rest.

Now THAT'S an easy one. (Well, actually, it isn't, but I think you know what I mean.) :-)

> koala"nice to meet you"mom

Don "Likewise. I have seen your posts before, but I don't know if we have exchanged posts yet. I hope we get the opportunity to do so more often. :-)" Monkey