Jezzika:
> What a weird holiday. I've never liked it. My idea of romance has nothing to do with the deluge of pink-and-red poofy paraphenalia, so I've usually ignored it. This year may be different, but it still won't be a big deal---with my birthday last month and my anniversary with Mike next month, a February 14th celebration hardly seems necessary. [...]


Wait! Agonizing over having to give a goofy valentine with goofy verse? Don't despair. We at RinkWorks™ specialize in the silly and the fantastically absurd. You will find many eager fans here, who will only be too happy to accept your lovingly-made goofy valentine if Mike won't.

Today we also offer a Silly Poem commemoration for people just like yourself, in order to celebrate the free-form advantages of Goofy Valentines Day. [Note: Don the Monkey inspired the guts part for this particular bit of doggerel due to his "Gutless Wonder Story Hour." I blame him because I'm so silly and baaaaaad. :-)]


When a Bender Flows Through It


[*guitar twang*]

Water, water runs everywhere
And spring rains swell great rivers to bout
Yet your heart is so icy and stiff
To me baby, I'll never know
Why you're in such a pout

But let's pop just a little of that Ecstacy
And babe we'll become roaring gadabouts
Who cares if it shrinks our kidneys really tight
We're ready to rock, and drink and drink all niiiiiiiight

[*guitar twang*]

Oh, a mighty river runs all through me
I feel the love-bloat to extreme
While your crystal/splash tickles the amygdala
My spleen goes bursting out its seams

Now who's the brain who proclaimed that Valentines
Ought to display gross body parts
Cutesy hearts come framed in blood, a sign
That this holiday can't be quite right

Still, the rising backwash bathes my ventricles
Flushing most everything clean and bright
Finally I'm drowning from the inside out
Because when our love is toxic water poisoning
Why then baby, we've both been rout