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Re: Moaning and groaning about things beyond my control.
Posted By: Kiki, on host 64.20.65.133
Date: Friday, February 9, 2001, at 21:11:39
In Reply To: Re: Moaning and groaning about things beyond my control. posted by Quartz on Friday, February 9, 2001, at 07:32:44:

> > > I just argued with my sister...again. We fight a lot. Please pardon me for a few minutes while I complain and moan about it.
> > >
> > > The basis of most our arguments is basically how we see each other. She thinks I'm a complaining cynic, I think she's a fluffy-headed goody-goody (sometimes. Sometimes she's great). She's probably the one that's right. :^| (that's a grim face)
> > >
> > > I admit, sometimes I am cynical. But sometimes I'm not. My sister never seems to remember the moments I'm nice.
> >
> > My sister is 13, I'm 16. Typically we get along very well, but sometimes we don't. She's very much a 13-year-old, attitude and everything.
>
> I'm 15, my sister's 17. I think *I'm* the one with the additude. Maybe that's just a "younger sibling" thing.
>
> >
> > A coule weeks ago, that all blew up on us. I told her to "lose the attitude" one too many times, she cried, my mom yelled at me, I yelled back. I was tired of Elissa's attitude, she was tired of me treating her like she was stupid. So we sat down and talked about it, and decided on a code phrase which we could use any time we thought the other was over-reacting or being nasty or whatever.
> >
> > In the past two weeks, it has been used once. Once! Both of us said before the institution of our code that the other one had an attitude "all the time", and we've discovered that it's really hardly at all - you just do tend to remember the nasty times.
> >
> > I don't know whether something like this would work with your sister - but if both of you have attitudes you want to at least be aware of, even get over, than maybe something like this could heklp. If you're both perfectly happy how you are, well, I don't know.... but I do understand your frustration at your sister not remembering the times you're nice.
>
> That sounds like a good idea, but I don't know if it would work or not. What we usually do if we're fighting is make a joke (my sister, among other things, has a great sense of humor). We usually forget about fighting then.

Well, our phrase is so absurdly funny and weird, and has nothing to do with anything, that it makes us laugh. Joking really can help - as long as you don't bury your problems to have them pop out again later.
> >
> > >
> > > Another thing is, I don't think people should take me seriously (like you guys, you're probably not taking me seriously right now). I'm not the type of person you should take seriously, or people get hurt. Also, I have a feeling I'm one of those mean types of people that you ignore at parties.
> > >
> > > But then, maybe I'm upset that people don't take me seriously enough. Maybe I'm one of those people who hunger for friendship (which, now to think about it, I kinda do).
> > >
> > > Maybe I'm some sort of genius.
> > >
> > > Or maybe I'm just a 15 year old, for heaven's sake, who's emotional level is shifting around like the dickens, and I'm just in a stage where everybody in the world annoys me. Or at least my sister (she's my only sibling).
> > >
> > > Or maybe I'm a pathetic loser. A pathetic loser who can't make friends in real life, no less (all my friends are internet friends).
> >
> > I bet you're probably all of these things, and none of these things, and a lot of other things besides. If that makes any sense.... but it does to me. I remember being 15, I'm still barely out of being 15. I've wished people would pay less attention to me - and then, when they didn't pay attention, all I wanted was for them to listen to me. Everybody in the world STILL annoys me sometimes... and yet there are people whom I love when I hate, and who love me even when I've been completely mean and nasty. Whether or not you feel like it, you probably have some of those too.
>
> I completely understand what you mean. It makes me think of my parents, particularly. They're so patient with me.

Parents are good at that, aren't they?
> > >
> > > Qua "needs to go to a shrink" rtz
> >
> > Towards the beginning of this year I went through a really hard time. I was depressed, I no longer enjoyed any of the things I used to love, I was crying every day, I was scared to death about the future. I just KNEW that no one else in the entire world had ever been through what I was in. I'm sure several RinkyDinks remember the day I moaned all about it in Chat, and then, when they told me about their struggles with the same sort of thing, blew up at them. They ended up being right (actually, I don't know if I ever mentioned that to the people who tried to help - I acted like a brat, and you were all right, and thank you, and I'm sorry) and I got over it without needing to see anyone, but it was a hard time.
> >
> > Last year, towards the end of the year, I DID have to have one session with a shrink about some problems I was having with my family, and I don't think I would have gotten over my problems without it.
> >
> > I don't know if either of these thigns are anything like you - I'm not even sure what my point is. Anyway, whether or not Sam was thinking of me in his post, I am one of those who has dealt with some tough problems. You can pull through this, I know you can - and there are people here who care about you, and who will be here for you as you work your way through your teenager-hood. I, for one, will be praying for you.
> >
> > Kiki
>
> Thank you. I must have sounded pretty obnixious in my last post. I didn't really mean it, I just wanted to blow off steam. I think I should start praying about it too.

No, you really didn't. I promise. Everyone has problems, and I, as well as many other people, have discovered that rinkworks is a perfect place to find others willing to help you through them. And, as always, prayer is the best rememdy.
>
> Quartz
> ~~*Q*~~

Kiki