I'm thinking about moving to Atlanta. I can find plenty of work there as a passenger in the HOV lane. I'm well qualified.

I was cruising through Atlanta in the HOV lane one day and saw a guy just ahead of me, all by himself. However, he had a bumper sticker that said, "God is my Co-pilot." Nobody stopped him.

If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress?

When Disney bought out ABC, why didn't they call it ABCD?

I went into a diner that had a sign that said, "We never close." Why did they have a lock on the door?

How much does an arm and a leg cost?

Research proves that people who snore fall asleep first.

It's 45 degrees F outside today and it feels pretty good. When it was 45 in November, I nearly froze to death.

Doesn't it make more sense to wash your car after you get back from vacation, rather than before?

Can you call a high fluffy cloud layer with rain falling out of it an alto cumulo nimbo stratus?

One thing I seldom use my computer for is to compute. I use a calculator for that.

I like to give brief, to the point, time-saving answers to questions. A guy called and said, "Is this Howard?"
So I said, "Yes," and hung up.
He called back and said, "Can ask you one question?"
So I said, "No, that's two already."

If movies didn't move would we call them "stillies?"
Howard