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> > > It would help to know what her motivation for all this is. I've got two guesses: one, she thinks Darien is a geek, you're too good for him, and she has a naturally meddling personality that would like to "make things right." Two, almost the opposite: she's jealous.
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> > there are other possibilities here. First is that she believes Min's relationship with Darien will take away from Min's friendship with her - - she's not jealous because she wants Darien, but because she doesn't want Darien to take her friend away.
> >
> > Another possibility is that Min's roommate is interested in HER. . .

Interesting possibility... but I know that if jealousy is indeed the issue, it's only jealous that we have someone, not jealous of one of us in particular.

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> > > Knowing which (or if it's another reason entirely) would certainly help determine what the best way to approach her is, but I think the basic principles are the same, no matter what. Assuming you two were friends, or at least friendly, before, this *should* be something you can resolve via open discussion, assuming she is the least bit rational or compassionate at all.
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> Brandon, you sure know how to put a spin on things. Seriously, I would agree with everything Sam and Brandon say.
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> My first thought, as a girl with a few years on you, was "chicks are like that." Nonconfrontational, passive-aggressive, jealous (though some term it "territorial," which I think is a better description), etc.
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> I also think the only way to temper the situation at all is to confront her, but I would try to do so in a way that shows you care about saving the relationship. Never start a sentence with "You do this." Always say, "I feel like" first, even if it's "I feel like you do this." Let her know you understand where she's coming from -- it's hard to be single in a world full of couples, it's hard not to feel left out now that you're spending so much time with Darien, etc. Ask her if there's someone she's interested in you could help introduce her to. Just generally let her know that you realize her behavior is coming out of those feelings, even if she isn't aware of that. Let her know in no uncertain terms that your (Minamoon's, with Darien, with Darien's roommate, with your friends) situation isn't going to change, therefore her attitude has to, or she's no longer a part of it.
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> You're probably never going to solve the problem, but I think you can tone down her behavior by calling her on it, in as kind a way as you can. Her interests will wander, eventually, to something she feels more a part of and more able to have a say in.
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> Mou"Other people, I'm fine with. It's my own life that's the disaster"sie

Thanks for all your advice. I'm going to try really hard to talk to her tonight, but I don't know. I know *what* I need to do... it's just getting up the guts to do it that's the hard part, you know?

Anyway, thanks everyone for helping. Feel free to keep sending advice and stuff!

~Mina "glad I have friends to solve my problems for me" moon