I did it, honestly.
The dog ate it.
The cat ripped it apart.
The goldfish splashed water on it.
Aliens abducted it.
My sister flushed it down the toilet.
It went through my leaf shredder.
My computer crashed.
My hard disk exploded.
My great-great uncle's cousin died.
I dropped it in a pool of mud on the way here.
Someone spilt hydrochloric acid on it.
I dropped it in the post box -- it'll take 28 days.
My baby brother scribbled over it in crayon.
Moths attacked it.
I used it as fire because my electricity was cut.
I saw the face of Elvis in it.