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The Mystery of Paradise Island

By Samuel Stoddard

Danger On Paradise Island: Chapter 4

Note: Click on the pictures to enlarge them.

* NessaChan is fearful for the lives of the characters
NessaChan: I like them all
Sam: Poor Nessa.

Danger On Paradise Island: Chapter 4

NessaChan: wooo
: When the Nazi polar bears parachuted onto the island, they laid waste to everything. Jay, Cody, Hayley, Matt, Camille, Buck, Julie...they all died instantly, felled by machine guns, trampled, and eaten. When the first wave of devastation was over, only Ramona survived, for the polar bears had initially mistaken her for a giant octopus that had thoroughly inked itself in the commotion. But when, at the top of her voice, she upbraided the lead Nazi polar bear for being such an idiot as to mistake her for a giant octopus, the error was corrected, and Ramona, too, was executed.
TalkingDog: LOL LOL
Maryam: LOL LOL
10Kan: I KNEW IT!
iwpg: LOL

The End

Kalimeris: that made me feel lots better :-)
Randy: Wow
NessaChan: ahh, that's the most relieving ending ever.
Sam: Thanks for being here with us through the thick and thin. See you this summer for UBT #5! Good night!
NessaChan: nite sam
Goosey: AW!
LaZorra: You dork.
LaZorra: Get back here before I kick your white little rear.
Sam: Ok, the real Chapter 4:
LaZorra: Oh, good.

Danger On Paradise Island: Chapter 4

: Wait a minute, wait a minute. Your name is Spilk?
: *confused* Yeah, Cody.... Is everything ok?
: I--hmm, never mind. I just...had a teacher named Mr. Spilk once, that's all.
Randy: Don't cry over Spilk milt.
Kalimeris: randy: hahaha!
NessaChan: it's from the original Spilkensternslovichski
: Ms. Parris -- please, I show to room.
: Thank you. And please call me Julie. I'm only Ms. Parris to people I don't like.
: Very kind. *smile* Sorry not to greet on beach. Dealing with unfortunate accident.
: Oh dear. Nothing serious, I hope?
10Kan: You hoped wrong, sister!
whitehelm: Oh, nothing serious, people die here all the time
: Afraid very serious. But come. You room this way, on east wing.
: East wing...?
: Is problem?
: Would it be a bother to give me a room on the west? I don't sleep well, and the less sun first thing in the morning, the better.
10Kan: They're called curtains.
: No trouble. Please.
NessaChan: ooh a baby in a picture frame
10Kan: Aww, there's a baby picture in the east wing. *clue*
NessaChan: a clue?
10Kan: Definitely a clue.
: Oh yes, this will do wonderfully. I'll just freshen up a bit, and then come right down to meet with Mr. Spilk.
: *bows*
: *questioning glance*
: *beats me*
: I do declare, if just one more person dies an accidental death, I will faint, I'll just faint and fall right over!
SirDude: Uh oh. Someone prep some smellingsalt.
: You think it was an accident?
: Well of course I do! What do you mean by that? The man was so stupid, it's a wonder he didn't blunder off a cliff before!
Eric: She has a point!
: I'm going to my room. *stomps off* Get out the way, Yoda.
LaZorra: YODA
: Excuse.
: If y'all don't need me, ah'm gon' try to finish my nap by the pool. Afternoon, ladies.
DemanusFlint: Why was *beats me* in asterisks? Was it an action?
Eric: Yes.
Eric: He beat himself.
: Ahhh, it's lovely to finally be here. Twelve hours by plane, four on the road, and three by helicopter. We can transport information around the world in the blink of an eye, but somebody should do something about moving ourselves. Well, Mr. Spilk. What do we do now?
: Call me Matt. But, forgive me -- I'm a little confused. What can I do for you?
: ...
: Didn't I talk to you on the phone?
: I...don't think so.
: I don't understand. Surely there aren't two Matt Spilks staying here?
: If there were, it'd be a first for me too. What business did you have with me?
: Well...somebody calling himself Matt Spilk contacted my office about a game--
: A game?
: Heh. *smile* Sorry, I should say who I am. I'm an anthropologist, specializing in gaming history and theory. I head a research foundation in New York. Two weeks ago, an archeologist contacted me about an important discovery, here on Paradise Island. A gameboard, complete with pieces and rules, were unearthed, and could I come and shed any light on the discovery? Of course I jumped at the chance. This is a very old island, did you know?
NessaChan: we think it could be the original Ms Pac Man
10Kan: They called it "BeauteousOrNayAutomaton".
Randy: 10K:LOL!
: Game theory. How fascinating!
LaZorra: She needs a fedora. All anthropologists/archaeologists need fedoras.
: I think so. *smile* Did you know, in all the animal kingdom, humans are the only ones that play competitive games as adults for recreation?
: Huh! No, I guess I never thought about it before.
: It's true. All other animals compete for food, position, power, mating rights. Baby animals play competitive games at play as practice for the real thing. But we humans, with our supermarkets and corner drug stores and shelters and charities -- well, in most parts of the world, we don't need to compete at all to meet our basic needs.
: But the primal instinct to compete with each other is still ingrained, and it demands our attention. So some of us compete for money and power in the workplace, and if you don't get that big promotion, well, maybe you're still a winner because you make more than your spouse or sibling, or maybe you just live in the biggest house.
: And we all -- all of us -- play games, whether it's chess, baseball, video games, or tiddly-winks. We teach our children to play games even before they learn to read, and when they grow up, even things that aren't games at all are games. You go fishing with some friends, and the winner is the guy with the biggest catch. And when we can't measure our prowess against our peers, we play solitaire and do crossword puzzles and measure it against our own expectations.
Nyperold: So here we have The Most Dangerous Game.
: And when victory over single games isn't enough, we give prizes to the winners. We combine games together into tournaments, and then the winner is really special.
: Wow -- I never thought of it that way before.
: Eye-opening?
: Very.
10Kan: Our love of fun is the only thing that seperates humanity from the cold, arctic logic of the Nazi Polar Bears.
: Of course, the fishing example is not far removed from animals fighting for food, but what interest me are true games. We're so starved for competition that we invent artificial ways to compete with each other. Here's an 8 by 8 board of squares and 12 markers. Slide them only forward and diagonally, or jump over my markers to take them. Last one with markers left wins. That's checkers, a game so old and famous that just about the entire population of the civilized world has played it, even in cultures so alien to each other as to have little else in common.
: And what sense does Checkers make, really? What does it have to do with eating and sleeping and keeping warm and propagating the species? It's the arbitrariness of game rules that so interest me. Oh, but listen to me carry on. Forgive me -- I get a little carried away sometimes.
Eric: Well, it helps in propagating the species, because ladies LOVE a kingly checkers player.
: I just find games fascinating. I love to play them, learn about them, and most of all to think about why I do.
: Not at all! I don't think I've heard anything so intriguing in a very long time. But I'm still confused about what this has to do with me.
: You really didn't contact my office and send for me?
: No. I've never heard of you, and I'm a stranger to this island myself.
: You don't sound much like the voice on the phone, either. And yet...somebody calling himself Matt Spilk sent for me, and I came, and here you are.
Eric: Did the voice on the phone sound old and Asian?
: If this is some sort of a joke, it's not a very funny one.
: I swear to you, I know nothing about any of this.
: Maybe we'd better tell you what's been going on here....

(dissolve past the story recap!)

: ...How dreadful!
: And since the radio was smashed, we have no way to contact the outside world until the helicopter comes back.
: When might that be?
: Master of house supposed to arrive tonight.
Maryam: Mystery person!
Randy: Wait, someone new?
Maryam: We've seen all the announced pics.
Maryam: I hope it's not fat guy.
: Nice to see you again, sir! Sit tight, and we'll be on that island of yours in about four hours.
Kysle: He owns the island itself?
: Camille! You know, I just haven't been able to get my mind off those martinis we didn't get to enjoy.
10Kan: Sorry Matt, she only has eyes for Buck now.
: What do you say we--
: Sure, uh-huh. Meet you at the beach or something.
: Howdy do, partner.
: Why, howdy, Miss!
10Kan: RATATATA! You been SHOT DOWN.
Sam: LOL. Nice call, 10K.
10Kan: It's been hinted at.
NessaChan: Camille is a two timer
: Tell me, mister cowboy man, how does a horse doctor get to be a regular people doctor?
10Kan: You have to take a few years of centaur doctoring in between.
iwpg: LOL
TalkingDog: LOL
SirDude: 10Kan - Nice.
Randy: LOL
: Aw, tain't no thing I know, Miss. I ain't no regular doctor. I studied to be one once, but it dint take. So's I stuck to fixin' horses.
: You must be awful smart to make a livin' in the medical profession. Why, all those big words and fancy equipment -- I just don't think my li'l ole head could hold it all!
NessaChan: she's right.
Nyperold: "Whah, Ah bet you meet the most INteresting people!"
10Kan: LOL Nyp
Sam: Nyp: I was telling my girlfriend just the other day, I said monsters must be so INteresting.
Maryam: Hee, I was just thinking of that.
: Aw, shucks, Miss. Ain't nothin' to it! If they's bleedin', put a bandage on. If they's sick, give 'em medicine. Easier'n ropin' a baby calf! Only tricky part is keepin' 'em from takin' sick in the ferst place!
: *flutter* Reeeally?
: Oh sure! Horses'll take sick easier'n anything! Once I had t'see a horse, took colic and died 'fore I even got there.
: Aww, poor horsey!
: Yeah, and it was the owner's fault, too. Let him drink cold water when he was all tuckered out. S'okay if city folk like yourself don't know that, but if you's regular people, you'd have to be dumber than a chicken with his haid cut off t'give a horse cold water when he's all tuckered out.
Eric: Is that for real? You can't give tired horses cold water?
Sam: Actually, yeah.
Sam: Well, they can be tired, but not still hyperventilating after exercise.
Eric: That is weird.
10Kan: You shouldn't feed them after midnight, either.
Sam: Or expose them to direct sunlight.
Kysle: You can't expose horses to direct sunlight?
Eric: Not when they're tired.
Eric: Or they'll bruise.
10Kan: :hdead:
Goosey: LOL
Nyperold: Heh!
Kalimeris: Hehehe
* Kysle did not realize that horses were vampires until just now. Amazing, these things you go through life not knowing and then realizing your mistake all of a sudden
NessaChan: garlic repels horses and you can't see them in a mirror
: I luuuv horses -- why, when I--
: Camille?
: What??
: Can I have a word with you?
: *sigh!* Can't it wait? Can't you see I'm busy??
Maryam: He's gonna warn her that SHE'S NEXT!
Eric: He's going to kill her.
NessaChan: Why would Cody kill anybody, he's only 14
NessaChan: unless he played a bunch of video games
Goosey: kids who voluntarily wear suits don't kill people
Eric: Goosey: Uh yes they do because only crazy kids wear suits
DemanusFlint: Goosey: What if they're in the Mafia?
Sam: He probably doesn't want to get blood spatter all over his more treasured T-shirts.
: It's pretty important, Camille.
: *sigh* Fine! ... Don't you go nowhere, cowboy.
: Ah'll be right here, Miss!
: This better be good, kid.
: I knew I'd seen you somewhere before....
: Yeah? Great! But I got tannin' to do, so if you'll excuse me--
: It's a nice performance, Camille, but I don't think you're as dumb as you act.
: *scowl*
: *scowl*
: Ok, fine. *hard glare* I'm not as dumb as I act, and you're not as dumb as you look. Maybe I figured out having more brains doesn't mean having more fun. Is there a point to this?
: Yeah, there's a point. Because where I saw you was Piper Downs--
: HUSH YOUR VOICE! Do you want to get us killed?? Where did you hear that name??? I don't know what you're talking about!
Goosey: Piper Downs???
10Kan: Is that a place or a person?
Eric: Does he mean Piper Laurie?
Goosey: Piper Down: that's what grandpa's say when they want you to shut up
Sam: That's probably why Camille talked quieter at that point.
: What's going on, Matt?
: I wish I knew. I wish I even had a guess.
: Somehow, somebody knew you were coming. Whoever it was used your name to con Julie and dropped it to Cody, too, who, by the way, I haven't been able to get anywhere with since I told him I didn't know a Mr. Spilk. I don't think he knows anything for sure, but he suspects.
10Kan: She's trying to "get somewhere" with Cody, eh?
Sam: 10K: To find out information, goof.
: Have you made any progress with Camille?
: No, and it looks like I'm not going to. She's moved on to the cowboy. I guess my best bet is to try to find out what Julie knows.
: I agree. In the meantime, I've been more successful on another trail. I managed to sneak into Genevieve's room and search her bags. Look at this.
10Kan: A five-gallon jug of eye makeup?
Eric: Sam: Do you vote for who gets killed, too?
Sam: Eric: Yes. So far, I have not been a deciding vote, though.
: 'Genevieve -- pay the Piper, or pay in the pen. Meet me Paradise Island--' etc, etc. A blackmail note, just like Ramona and the real Katie.
: I think Tyler was one of them, too, but I don't think he was blackmailed. He probably wouldn't have known how to handle it -- might have panicked and run. I think he was hiding from the law, and I'd bet anything our blackmailer drove him to it and suggested this place as a safehouse.
: *frown* If Julie's another one, that's a third way they've been lured to this island. Our blackmailer seems to know exactly what tactic to use to get everybody here.
: *sigh* What went wrong? I can't imagine how anybody could have known you'd be coming. The plan was for you to show up uninvited, under your real name, and see who you surprised. But apparently it's no surprise at all to whoever set this up!
: I hate to ask this, but...might Ramona have set us up?
: *gasp* Matt! We're doing this for her! She's in trouble! She needs us!
10Kan: You mean she *is* trouble.
: Yes, she's in trouble. Maybe she thought there was a better way out of it.
: *shrug* All right. You know her best. I'd better head back now. Give me a headstart. It wouldn't do for us to be seen together too much.
: Be careful, Matt.
: I will if you will. *kiss*
NessaChan: yay matt + hayley
: I saw you at Piper Downs as clear as day, and we need to talk about it.
: SHHHH! Okay, okay, but for heaven's sakes, not here. Let's go up to your room.
10Kan: Nice room.
: How did you see me, anyway?? The plan was nobody would ever know anybody else on the job, so we could never give each other up! Even Big Red never met us face to face!
: A black canvas bag, a seal on the zipper so I'd never know what was in it. Walk in, sneak into the office adjoining the betting windows at the prescribed time, and drop the bag in the filing cabinet. I made the drop. And I stuck around to see who collected. That was you, Camille.
Randy: oooh
Maryam: Ooooh.
: You were supposed to be long gone before I ever showed up!
: I was curious.
: ... If anybody'd caught you doing that, you'd have been dead long ago.
: Dead like those two guards, Camille? ... *sigh* ... I shouldn't have had any part of the job. I didn't even know what the job was! I had my suspicions, of course, and they were right -- but I was told nobody'd get hurt!
LuckyWizard: Ooh, more cryptic backstory hints.
DemanusFlint: BANKS
: Nobody was supposed to get hurt, Cody. It just went wrong. Come on, kid, that's always the risk.
: How can you say that?? Two innocent men, dead, and you can just brush that off....
: Look, did you call me up here to teach me morals or something? Because I got a man and a drink and a pool waiting for me, and they beat morals any day.
Eric: NICE
: Maybe you are as dumb as you act. No, I didn't call you up here to preach -- I called you up here to find out what the heck is going on! You think it's a coincidence you and me are both here on this island? You think it's a coincidence two people have been killed here?
: Those were accidents!
: I'm here because I got a letter from somebody named Spilk, saying this place is going to have a grand opening to the public in a week. Spilk! Matt! But Matt hasn't ever indicated he knows me, and look around -- this look like a hotel ready for business to you? Looks like Julie was lured here under false pretenses, too. Maybe she was another one of the gang. What about you, Camille? How'd they get you here?
: ...
: Big Red, Cody. Big Red sent me here. To do another job.
Goosey: uh oh!
: Another job?? What job??
Nyperold: Take out the trash.
10Kan: Nyp: Yakkity Yak!
: I don't know, Cody. That's just it. I haven't been contacted since I got here.
NessaChan: kiss a little longerrrrrrr
NessaChan: with big reddddd
Randy: Nessa: LOL! At first I was all "huh"?
: Looks like you've got quite the party shaping up, Mr. Small. Sure was a surprise when you said they were coming! Never thought you let anybody but yourself stay on that island of yours!
: Usually that's so, Burt. Maybe I was lonely.
Maryam: GAH
Maryam: I KNEW IT
NessaChan: Noooooo
whitehelm: WOO
Kysle: LOL
Goosey: AHAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Nyperold: Irony name.
10Kan: S-o
DemanusFlint: haha great news
LuckyWizard: AHHHHH!
Maryam: Sam you are EVIL.
Eric: my favorite :)))
10Kan: He's some sort of angry, pasty tiki god!
Randy: I take this to mean that Sam hates us.
NessaChan: Does he fly in the nude? :(
Sam: NC: Hey. He's got socks on.
Eric: He's wearing an island, silly.
Sam: Eric: LOL. Yes!
Sam: Our ten murderer victims are all LIVING ON HIS BODY.
Goosey: Sam: Ew.
Maryam: I hope fat guy's voteable for killin'.
NessaChan: Sam should photoshop him a shirt
Randy: Yes please.
TalkingDog: How is that helicopter flying?
: Mighty strange mix of friends you got, Mr. Small. Never dreamed you got around so much when you leave the island! If you don't mind me saying so, that is.
: Well, as a matter of fact -- it's a funny thing, I guess -- I never met a one of them.
Sam: ...but he's 18/f/Kristina on Yahoo.
: You never met them?? Wow. *shakes head* Well, I guess you know your business, Mr. Small. They all got there safely, sir, don't you worry about that.
: Thanks, Burt! I guess I'll be radioing you soon to get them all off again.
: Oh, don't you worry about that, Mr. Small. Call me anytime, day or night!
: Sure hope they don't wreck the place in the meantime.
iwpg: All of them?
iwpg: Maybe if body-bags count.
: *frown*
: Excuse. Lady looks unhappy. Anything can do to help?
Nyperold: "Yeah. Lock Cody in his room. Or the meat locker."
NessaChan: Jay can really throw a hat and take your head off!
Nyperold: Oddjayb?
: Hmm? Oh. No, I...just have something on my mind. I was gonna go for a swim, but...I think I'm just gonna go up to my room. Send up some wine later, would you?
: Can do.
: All alone?
: Yep, Camille said she'd be right back, but she ain't.
: Women. Whaddaya gonna do, right?
: *smile* Persnickety critters, womenfolk, thass for sure.
* LaZorra isn't THAT persnickity.
: Think I'll go down to the beach for a while. Catch you later, huh?
* LaZorra lies. She is that persnickity.
: Be seein' ya.
NessaChan: you don't wanna be alone, cowboydude
10Kan: When you're going to be sitting by the pool for a while, grab a Persnickers.
: ...
: Ohhhh, where'd that dangblasted key go?
: Coulda sworn I...
: Hey Buck, did I drop my key over there somewhere?
Eric: No one's looking, bikini girl! Kill the cowboy!
: Huh, now let me, don't look like it.
10Kan: Course, I can't rightly tell, bein' dead and all.
: Thanks.
: ...stupid key...
: ...can't believe I can't find--
: Lose something?
: Wha...! Oh, it's you. Didn't see you there, so quiet with your books and things.
: Heh. Funding applications -- I can assure you, there's nothing more boring to read. Sorry -- I didn't mean to startle you.
: Oh, that's ok. I'm just trying to find my room key -- can't seem to figure what I did with it! Stupid thing. All I want to do is lie down for a while.
: Oh, how frustrating.
: Yeah. If you see it, let me know, ok?
: Sure thing. Oh, actually, do you want to use my room for a while instead? Got the key right here.
whitehelm: NO DON'T DO IT
: Aw, why that'd be so nice of you, Julie. You sure you don't need the room for a while?
: With any luck, I won't need it at all. I have all this paperwork to do here, and then I might as well explore the island. But once that helicopter arrives, I'm out of here, and once I get to a phone, somebody's going to have some serious explaining to do. Here. *toss* End of the hallway to the left.
: *catch* Thanks, Julie.
: ...
: This looks like it. *unlock*
: Ahh. Maybe if I get clean and rest, I'll be able to think this thing through.
: Oooh, fancy.
Goosey: she's gonna diiiieee!
* 10Kan cues up his violin.
: la de de la da...
Kalimeris: hahahaha
: hmm-hmm hmm-hmmmm...
iwpg: LOL
10Kan: LOL
NessaChan: lol
Randy: LOL!
whitehelm: KILLING TIME
* LaZorra is losing it.
Goosey: Not that she was that dressed to start with . . .
Eric: Apparently the shower has a large boulder on the floor.
: ...glad do not live here always...
: ...too much work to keep...
: ...not know how owner live alone...
: ...big place should not be home...
: ...home is special small place--hey, what's this?
Randy: The key
Maryam: He used a contraction!
Kalimeris: He's LEARNING.
: Ohhh, hay in pool. Buck? Buck! ...why cowboy bring hay, anyway...make mess...
Randy: Or not
LaZorra: LOL
LaZorra: Cowboys ALWAYS have hay on them.
LaZorra: Even if they haven't been around horses for days.
Goosey: LOL
: *deep in thought*
: Hi! Katie, right?
: Yes, hi Julie!
: I decided to go exploring. What's up this way? Anything worth seeing?
: Oh, absolutely -- beautiful view atop the clif--
whitehelm: just the CLIFF OF DOOM
iwpg: =-O
Goosey: AAAHHH!
: What was that??
10Kan: Live performance of the 1812 Overture.
: It came from the hotel -- come on! *runs*
: *runs*
: *runs*
: *runs*
: What happened??
: Come from upstairs!
: Oh no...Ramona! Ramona!
: I'm ok -- it came from in there!
: What?? That's my room!
Nyperold: Camille!
Goosey: The Cowboy shot bikini girl!
10Kan: With a pearl-handled six-shooter, no doubt.
: *hungh!* The door's locked! *hungh!* Can't seem to... *hungh!* ...bust it down!
LaZorra: Come on, you wimp!
: Stop! Stop, Cody! Have key!
: *backs away*
: Aah! Key not fit. *lowers eye to keyhole* Oh...other key turned in other side of lock.
LaZorra: Get Buck up there!
: What's going on here? What were those shots?
: We don't know -- they came from in here. Where's Camille? Where's Buck?
: Ah'm right here, miss.
: We have to bust this door down. Come on, help me!
: *HUNGH*!
: *HUNGH*!
: *HUNGH*!

CRACK! *splinter*

LaZorra: YAYAY
: Camille?
: Cami--*gasp!*
Maryam: She's bleeding from her censor bar!
LaZorra: LOL
LaZorra: Awww!
NessaChan: bummer
Eric: Crushed to death by a giant censor bar.
Kalimeris: Those dratted censor bars.
Kalimeris: Nothing but trouble.
LaZorra: Poor Camille. :-(
10Kan: I thought those things were bulletproof.
iwpg: Heh, looks like she's standing on the wall.
Nyperold: Somebody took the time to wedge her between the walls of the shower.
SirDude: ...Someone turn that shower off, we're wasting water

Kalimeris: Wait why are they all lined up there with their teeth in their mouths
Sam: Kali: Where would you expect their teeth to be...?
LaZorra: That's a good place for teeth to be.
: It's time we faced facts. Not only was Camille murdered, but Genevieve and Tyler had to have been murdered, too. Two accidental deaths alone are a hard enough coincidence to swallow, but now....
Nyperold: Three times is enemy action.
Sam: "Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action." Except, actually, I remember now that I dumped the line because it's not really the third death that proves there's a murderer but the fact that she was, you know, SHOT.
: Aw, mister, I examined Genevieve mahself, and--
: --and you're a horse doctor, Buck. No offense, but under the circumstances it's the only conclusion that makes any sense.
: I agree. In any case, Camille was murdered for sure, and that means there's a murderer on this island. Either hiding out somewhere, or...
: ...or one of us.
Eric: It's Cody.
Eric: Cody did it.
Eric: Cody is a killer.
DemanusFlint: eric we get it
Eric: The murderer is Cody;.
Eric: oh ok demanus
Sam: Cody did it / He's the killer / That's the end / Of this here thriller. / Burma Shave
Eric: NICE
LaZorra: BURMA SH--oh, you said it.
: I just don't understand how it happened. Camille was locked in the room. The door was locked from the inside. The windows were locked. How could anyone have shot her and gotten out?
: It's a right puzzle, all right. You think maybe she just killed herself?
LaZorra: Ah raht puhzzle!
: Oh yeah, I bet that's it. After she shot herself in the head, she hid the gun somewhere, then hopped in the shower to die.
Kalimeris: Cody just got cool points
Eric: He doesn't want Camille taking the credit for his work.
: We should conduct a thorough search of the island immediately. When the helicopter arrives with the master, we'll get out of here and notify the authorities. Until that time, I suggest we all stick together.
: I'm not staying another minute with any of I'm going up to my r--
: It's not safe.
: I'm GOING UP TO MY ROOM. If all you freaks stay together down here, I'll be fine. And anybody but Katie ever comes near me again, be prepared to join Camille. GOT IT? That goes double for you, you lying cowboy hick.
LaZorra: Hey, don't hate on the hicks.
: Why, you -- nobody calls me a liar! Them's fightin' words!
: Yo, don't you have some spurs to jingle? *storms off*
NessaChan: don't you have some bats to eat?!
LaZorra: Pff, ladycatchers went out with with Gene Autry.
: Why, if she weren't a lady -- which maybe she ain't -- I'd--
: You'll do nothing at all. Sit down.
: Excuse me, please. I'll go talk to her.
: Jay, you said the master was supposed to arrive later today?
: Is correct.
: I hope he does. If he doesn't arrive soon, there's going to be another murder. I...I think I'm next.
Eric: Game anthropologist looks like a pop singer.
Sam: She probably has a secondary profession as a superstar. But it's just a hobby.
: What...?
: That was my room. Camille was only there because she lost her key and I gave her mine. I don't think anybody else knew that. Did you see the shower curtain? There were bullet holes in it. Whoever shot Camille shot right through it and probably never saw who was inside.
: The killer must have wanted me. And he'll try again.
: ...
iwpg: OR SHE
LaZorra: OR SHE
Randy: OR HE...wait
: There's no use evading the facts. But which one of you could possibly want to kill me, hmmm?
: Ramona...
: What are YOU doing here? Just because I said I wouldn't kill you doesn't mean it was an invitation!
: *sits down next to her*
: Leave me alone. I just want to be alone.
: ...
: Go away, I said! Go away! GO AWAY! GO AWAY!
: *hug*
: GO AWAY! Go away! *sniff* ...Go away...*tears*...go away...
: *hug*
: ...go...*sob*...away.........*hug*...
: *hug*
: *hug* Oh, Hayley. *tears* I've been so terrible. To you. To everyone. *sniff* Especially to him.
: *hug*
: I was so cruel. What is wrong with me? I was so cruel! And now he's dead.
: I was afraid I'd hurt him so much, he...he...
: Shhh. *hug* It wasn't your fault.
: *hug*
: *hug*
LaZorra: Awwww.
: How do you stand me, Hayley? How do you put up with me?
: Oh, I don't know. Practice?
: *tears*smile*sniff*
: ...
: I'm so sorry I got you into this. I shouldn't have let you. I put you in danger. You and Matt both. I--
: Hush. You're my sister, Ramona. What happens to you happens to me. We'll see this through together, ok?
: *wipes face* I love you, Hayley.
: I love you, too.
: I don't know why.
: Hm. How about if we take all that energy you're spending on hating yourself and channel it into catching this sick psycho freak we've got running around, huh?
: *smile* Ok. It's a deal. And I know just where to st-- Hey. Do you hear that??
: *listens*
: The helicopter! Come on!
: Well, Mr. Small -- here we are! And I see you have a welcoming party already gathered on the beach!

: Thanks again, Burt. See you next time.
NessaChan: nananananananana FAT MAN
Randy: LOL!
: No problem. Ok, lemme just set her down....
* LaZorra CRACKS UP.

Nyperold: The trick is not to go down too fast.
Randy: I hope it crashes
Kalimeris: wugwugwugwugwug nrrrrrrrrrrrrrr *crash*
whitehelm: KABOOM
NessaChan: pwnt
Randy: YES!
Kalimeris: wugwugwugwugwugwug BOOM
iwpg: HAH
Maryam: Wow, nice, Randy.
NessaChan: AHHHH
Randy: Tankoo
LaZorra: Fat burns fast, too.
NessaChan: poor helicopter man. :(
whitehelm: I called it
whitehelm: or rather I sound effected it
Sam: Ah, but Randy was wrong.
whitehelm: That was clearly an explosion
Sam: Mid-air explosion.
Maryam: Sam: Ah well, he was close.

End of Chapter 4

Maryam: However, that does mean that SOMEone planted a bomb!
Maryam: There were three murders today!
LaZorra: *sniff* He may have been scary, but he was the only one who greeted me by name!
NessaChan: Fat Man did it
NessaChan: he hid it in his rolls
Maryam: He blew himself up?
Eric: Or that the pilot actually took a look at fat guy and his head exploded in horror.
Sam: LOL
NessaChan: lol
Eric: Well, now they can't get off the island.
NessaChan: I don't want anyone to die